• ygwrites

Fixing our flaws

In the last few years, there has been a ‘Be Yourself’ boom and I’m a believer in this wave; however, I have also noticed the ‘Be Yourself’ boom evolving into a scapegoat to cease self-development or the embracing of flaws that may not serve us or our loved ones well.

Not every flaw can be fixed. There are some things about us that seem like flaws, but are just a part of who we are. Unfortunately, who we are may offend or rub other people around us the wrong way, and in the words of my daughter, “That’s tough.” However, there are some things we all can work on and if you want some tips on how to identify your flaws, keep reading.

Be Honest with Yourself

Many of us can already identify a couple of things that we would like to change about ourselves. For instance, I used to be chronically late to everything except work. Okay, sometimes work too. I knew that this flaw was not only an inconvenience to myself, but also disrespectful to other people’s time.

I used to tell myself, “It’s not that bad. I’m never that late.” However, my tardiness was brought to my attention by a friend. I knew I had an issue, but my friend cosigning and venting to me honestly about my tardiness, helped me accept and create an honest dialogue with myself about this character flaw.

There is no growth in lying to yourself. If you are here to grow and develop as a human being, the first step will be brutal honesty and let me tell you, it’s no easy feat.

Maybe it’s You?

If you get the same feedback over and over again from friends, family, or your job – it’s probably you. Delve into the past instances when people tried to give you constructive feedback. Write these down so that you can hash out what habit can be changed and if it serves you, or the people around you, to take the time doing so.

Just Ask

Ask someone you trust what things they feel you could work on. This tip can be tricky because you have to ask someone who really cares about your wellbeing and that can give you honest and meaningful feedback. After they give you the feedback, know what to keep and what to throw away. Again, ask yourself what parts are just the core of your character and what feedback could aid in your development.

My husband let me know that I’m long winded and over-analyze. I talk a lot! Ha ha! However, I don’t feel a need to change this part of me to please friends and family. They can just tell me to hush when they’re ready. However, at work, I make a conscious effort to give only the information needed and to be short and concise. Now, my coworkers’ eyes don’t glaze over with the accompaniment of yawns when it’s my turn to talk at the meetings.

Tips on How to Change

We have sniffed out all of our flaws that are worth fixing and now what? This is the most difficult part and the phase that I’m admittedly still in. The best and first plan of action is writing these down. Write a plan of action. I can’t stress enough how important keeping track of the things we would like to fix and refer back to them often, if not daily, otherwise you will forget.

Be aware of the changes you would like to make and seek to implement them every chance you get. Now that I’m aware of my propensity for tardiness, I start casually getting ready an hour or two early. Now I’m the one who waits for everyone else and I hate it, go figure.

If the task is too large and you feel like it’s an impossible feat, break it down into bite sized pieces if applicable. If you have a junk food problem, don’t try to go cold turkey. Instead, gradually take your favorite snacks out of your diet until you feel that you can better control your eating habits.

Remember, write it down, be aware, and break it down.

What are your flaws? What is your plan of action to fix them? Please share below.

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