Cheese on My Steering Wheel
I will admit it, I am the driver that you hate. The unsafe driver multitasking on the way to work. No, I am not putting on eyeliner at every stop sign or brushing my hair. I am eating breakfast — okay not a real breakfast, but an unhealthy snack that you probably wouldn’t even feed your dog. Cheese and crackers are a guilty pleasure of mine. I am not talking about the kind of cheese and crackers that you pair with a wine, but the kind that are lovingly packed in children’s lunch boxes, and are just 99 cents. The cheese that oddly does not have to be refrigerated and probably stays in your body for years after you have consumed it. Yep, that one.
This day, my multi tasking would be a little tricky. How would I survive the twist and turns of the back country roads without hitting the oh so cute little mailboxes, and dip my cracker into my cheese? I know, my problems are just so insurmountable, right? However, somehow, the gods smile down on me and I come up with a quick way to safely eat my “breakfast” and make it to work without relocating anyone’s mailbox.
Everything is going great, the birds are flying, the sun is shining it’s light perfectly over the mountain range, the steer are grazing happily in the fields, and all seems right with the world until… I get freaking cheese on my steering wheel. I panic. Should I pull over? Do I have any napkins? I am already running late for work, I would not have time to pull over. What am I going to do? Thoughts rush through my head like 50 Usain Bolts. Anxiety builds, but then suddenly, calm. It. Is. Just. Cheese.
I decide to focus on the road (as I should already be doing) despite the huge yellow/orangey substance on my steering wheel, and I keep driving until I am safely at work. I look at the clock and I have whooping five minutes left to fix the whole cheese debacle. I take a Chipotle napkin and clean the cheese off my steering wheel and go about my day.
Over the course of the day, I start to realize how many minuscule circumstances turn into little clusters of anxiety in my head. I realized that this is probably why when I have a huge problem, I totally unravel and shut down completely. I try not to “sweat the small stuff” or the things that I can control, but for some odd reason, the little things do make me sweat. That is because in my mind, all of the small things can easily transform themselves into a bigger situation. Yes, in my mind I almost ALWAYS think of the worst case scenario, and after all this time, I am just now coming to the conclusion that the worst case rarely ever happens. IT’S ALL IN MY HEAD!
Now that I have realized this, my problem solving has improved. Now I have time to effectively solve my enormous problems, instead exerting my energy or putting laser focus on things that in the long run, really will not matter. I decided to stop worrying about things that have not happened yet. Okay, I will admit, just because I have took a step into a positive direction, does not mean that I do not worry at all, I just do not worry as much.
So what if in a worst case scenario I didn’t have any napkins to clean the cheese off my steering wheel? Yeah, it would have sat in the 90 degree heat all day and probably caused my car to smell like cheese. Someone may have asked for a ride that day and then climb into my car only to be greeted with a smell that only a mouse could appreciate. Then for all of my life that person would refer to me behind my back as “The Cheese Girl.”
If I were to project a collage my life on the Great Wall of China, that would be such a minor detail that it would not even be noticed, because in the grand scheme of things, no one really cares about your cheese, because they are probably worried about their own.